No, seriously. After a chuckle or ten about the Rent’s Too Damn High guy, who actually got votes in 2012, I thought, well, WTF, I’m as qualified as he is ….and Hillary, aka, HRod. Though I did leave the Dems in ’08, no offense, the Dems threw Hillary into that glass ceiling that made all those cracks.
Here are my qualifications, I’m serious, still, you elected Obama, gah!
I can be a #WINNING candidate too….
1. I’m Hillary’s age, fer crissakes, Vote for GRANDMA you ageist Republican/TeaBaggers !
2. I’m a Mom (3 kids, one of each), oh yeah, I have a special* one too. *Wraps up the SSI and other entitlement supporters. Got a problem with that, fine, I’ll send Special Greg to you to raise. He’s 42 and still wets the bed, sigh.
3. 3 Grandkids, 2 more than Granny Hill, and one’s an Hispanic mix (I got Florida and New York, maybe L.A.?) She’s only 4, not sure if she’s in a gang yet? Give her time, she’s only in a Brooklyn pre-school. The other two are elites, they’re only 12, but hey, can grab some Wall Street/OWS votes, eh?
4. I’m straight, love my gays, as long as they don’t make me “marry” them. Abortion? I spit out my own 3, including Special Greg, but he was an October Surprise long before Abortion became a sport. Also, his “condition” is still not diagnosed in the Gosnell clinics to this day. Oh wait, thank goodness, what a loss that would have been to me.
5. Foreign Policy? Spent my entire life as a military dependent, my i.d. card has never expired. Great Uncles, Civil War and beyond, Grandpa was a Doughboy in WW1, Dad, Mom, WW2, Dad went on to Korea and Vietnam, stupid me, married a Vietnam veteran, between his tours in ’69, then came the Middle East…gah. I think my foreign policy is better than Hilly’s…..ya’think ?
6. Read Hillary’s “Living History”. Not the Carly Fiorina rip off “Hard Choices”. As a Fellow Senior-ita, like Hills, enjoyed the ride from the 40’s til Bill.
7. Unlike Hills, I dropped out of college to become a Capitol Hill staffer. Got hired by a lovely man, a freshman Rep from Illinois while I was in the House Employment office looking to “volunteer” in the Capitol’s Cafeteria, bussing tables, doing dishes, mopping floors. True story, I was in school down the street, just wanted to be part of the “government”, at 18, I copped a job that paid more than my friends’ starting salaries as school teachers 4 years later.
8. I worked my ass off for another 5 years in the trenches of Gov jobs, working/dating losers (unlike Hillary, bless her heart, she had no clue in the late 60’s, grabbed the lovable nerd, Bill. #Winning.) I worked harder and smarter, grabbed a war hero.
9. Where am I? Oh yeah, 1969, and never looked back.
10. My VP Choice is Cripes Suze. My Press Sec, Keith Koffler. My Golf partner, wait, I don’t play golf, is myiq. I’ll keep my husband in my Virginia Beach home and I’ll spend every freaking vacay between VB and Camp David.
11. Vote for Me, Me, Me. !
12. Thank you for your vote, I won’t let you down :D