Tag Archives: humor

Kickstarter: Please Help Obama Start WW3 !

ww3

Note to NSA: Yes, it’s satire. Though, these days there’s such a fine line.

h/t The Kitchen Cabinet

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2 Comments

Filed under Just a Blogger, Political Snark

Fake Facebook – Syria Edition

Trying some new tricks on the blog, I’m sorta rusty about keeping up with all the WordPress changes so I hit some buttons not knowing what the heck happened and may have to publish it to see what’s in it. Oh snap, I just Pelosi’d 😀

This is so funny. Just click on the link below for a larger, more readable image if you’re drug store readers aren’t keeping up with my schloggin’ bloggin’. Have fun…..

e168afbae9KerryTalksSyria-Fake-FB

via Best of Cain

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Filed under Political Snark

Free Kittens !

From The Daily Mews

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man.

“Hi there little girl, I’m President Obama. What do you have in the basket?” he asked.

“Kittens,” little Suzy said.

“How old are they?” asked Obama.

Suzy replied, “They’re so young, their eyes aren’t even open yet.”

“And what kind of kittens are they?”

“Democrats,” answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of “FREE KITTENS,” when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

“Hello, again,” he said, “I’d love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you’re giving away.”

“Yes sir,” Suzy said. “They’re Republicans.”

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, “But…but…yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS.”

Little Suzy smiled and said, “I know.

But today, they have their eyes open.”

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Filed under Shiny Objects

“We Con the World”

It’s that time of year again, feel free to sing-a-long as lyrics are below the video !

the Gaza Flotilla participants explain how they can con the world

full text:

There comes a time
When we need to make a show
For the world, the Web and CNN
There’s no people dying,
so the best that we can do
Is create the greatest bluff of all

We must go on pretending day by day
That in Gaza, there’s crisis, hunger and plague
Coz the billion bucks in aid won’t buy their basic needs
Like some cheese and missiles for the kids

We’ll make the world
Abandon reason
We’ll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
With guns and our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

Ooooh, we’ll stab them at heart
They are soldiers, no one cares
We are small, and we took some pictures with doves
As Allah showed us, for facts there’s no demand
So we will always gain the upper hand

We’ll make the world
Abandon reason
We’ll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
we’re waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

If Islam and terror brighten up your mood
But you worry that it may not look so good
Well well well well don’t you realize
You just gotta call yourself
An activist for peace and human aid

We’ll make the world
Abandon reason
We’ll make them all believe that the Hamas
Is Momma Theresa
We are peaceful travelers
We’re waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV

We con the world
We con the people
We’ll make them all believe the IDF is Jack the Ripper
We are peaceful travelers
We’re waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV
We con the world (Bruce: we con the world…)
We con the people (Bruce: we con the people…)
We’ll make them all believe the IDF is Jack the Ripper
We are peaceful travelers
We’re waving our own knives
The truth will never find its way to your TV
The truth will never find its way to your TV

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Filed under Political Snark

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyhow, or…..

Breaking Medical News !

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain… GOOD!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTEN!!! Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.

VIA my sanity connections at iOwnTheWorrrrrrrrrld and Doug Ross

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Filed under Feeling Groovy, Shiny Objects

iOTW: Drill Baby Drill

Yes indeedy, a great campaign sign….of course, it’ll be union made.

via those very witty kids at iOwnTheWorld

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Filed under Political Snark, Shiny Objects

“I Got’s A Peace Prize” (Steven Crowder Video)

From October, but now that it’s official…..Congratulations Obama-Bow WOW 🙂

LYRICS:

I heard it today, Barack got a prize
Seams theyre dishin peace, prizes left and right
If you wanna prize, you can do it to
Theres just a few things, that you gotta do

Im mowing the lawn
You get a peace prize
Doing the laundry
Thats a peace prize
Im grooming my dog
Peace prize
He seems to like it
Thats a peace prize
You, get a peace prize
He, gets a peace prize
I, get a peace prize
Everybody, gets a peace prize

They gave a peace prize, to our president
Hed only been prez, for two weeks by then
The same time he takes, to dust his smokes
Some people call this, nobel prize a joke
But remember yall, Big O gives us hope
More hope for all man, even for the pope
This award aint for, anything he did
But for things he promises that he will
The first man to win, a peace prize for hope
Bankrupt America, The man is dope
Obama wants change, see it in his eyes
If you do to, youve earned yourself a prize

Im in the hot tub
Peace prize
Im doing some dips
Peace prize
Showing potential
Peace prize
Being a black guy
Gets a peace prize
Im making a sandwich
Thats a peace prize
Shes eating the sandwich
Peace prize
Its delicious
Heres a peace prize
Uh, yeah peace prize

The Nobel prize, aint given to fools
The whole committee, Went to greater schools
They thought Barack, Was Nobel worthy
they decided to, look at his story
He was voted to, be our president
Then they closed the books, The man is in
His namell go down, with other cool cats
Al Gore, Carter, Yasser Araffat
The prize aint always given to the best
Its got to be, politically correct
Thats why its not, everybody wins
For what not to do, Take a look at him

Liberate Iraq
You get no peace prize
Curb AIDS in Africa
No peace prize
Your last name is Bush
You get no peace prize
Ha, no peace prize
Obama, gets a peace prize
Automatic, Peace Prize
Huh, peace prize
Everybody, peace prize

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Filed under Crowder!, Political Snark